Wishing Well

As a follow up to my post My Addictions, I give you this song: Wishing Well by The Airborne Toxic Event.

A few months after the affair was over, I heard Sometime Around Midnight on the radio in my car. I only listened to about 30 seconds of it before I had to change the station because the emotions were still too raw. I knew if I kept listening I would breakdown and cry right there at the stoplight. I ended up buying the album which is where I found the above song.

I’ve never been addicted to drugs, and my alcohol abuse has always been a short-term coping mechanism rather than true alcoholism. But when I listened to the song, I identified with it. Wanting to run away, wanting to jump (and die), going out of my mind while fighting an addiction (the affair), remembering everything that was said and done and having those memories emerge from the dark like a ghost – those were all familiar to me.

None of the songs on the album, and it’s a great album, directly correspond with the events of my life, but I recognize little bits and pieces, and more than that I recognize the emotions. I don’t know how helpful listening to the album has been for me, but I do know it gave voice to what I was feeling. And sometimes it is therapeutic to just sing at the top of one’s lungs when the alternative is to sob in one’s car.