Quick Hit: Gender of Affair Bloggers

So I started the blog about a month ago and I’ve been writing pretty consistently for a couple of weeks now. One thing I’ve noticed in my blog and in the blogs of others is that I’m kind of a rarity. Every commenter on my blog has been female, and, except for Come Back to Me Erin, every affair blogger I’ve come across has been female.

I don’t really have any big comments to make on this fact other than to remark upon it. What is it about women that makes them so much more likely to blog about affairs – both as cheaters and as the betrayed?

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About Anonyman

Recovering adulterer and husband of an awesome wife who has given me a second chance. Sinner and Christian, saved by grace alone. I cuss a lot
This entry was posted in Editorial Note, The affair and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Quick Hit: Gender of Affair Bloggers

  1. I thought the same as I entered this world. M used to have a blog but he deleted it. I wish I knew what Come Back to Erin guy went. I hope he is doing well and Erin as well..

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    • Anonyman says:

      Yeah, I know. It’s weird how similar some of our experiences are. I see he has a lot of posts that are password protected. Do you know if they were always protected or did he lock them down after Erin left him? I’m really curious what the straw was that broke the camel’s back.

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        • Anonyman says:

          Um, emails from a woman I don’t know are kind of a no-no for me. I really don’t even want to start down that road, regardless of anyone’s intentions. Besides, I’m trying to maintain my anonymity, so I haven’t posted my address to the blog. If you’re trying to send the password, just post it in a comment on another random post and I’ll delete your message after I get it.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Sorry didn’t even think about it. Ha! Sometimes I forget what kind of life we are in 🙂 Forgive me and please sincerest apologies to your wife

            I will do that.

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            • Anonyman says:

              No problem. I didn’t figure you meant anything by it. It’s definitely a trigger for me.
              Now if I can just stop shaking…

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            • Anonyman says:

              I read his last post.
              Soooo… that sounds really, really familiar. Are we sure he didn’t kill himself? It sure sounds like he’s saying his goodbyes in more ways that one. I see no hope in that post.

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            • Don’t know he never replied to me. I don’t have an email. either I wonder if someone else does..

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            • Anonyman says:

              I read a little farther back, especially the posts that were protected. It’s just gut-wrenching – I can only take so much at a time. There’s a certain hopelessness that comes from seeing that your sins are truly unforgivable, that there is no trust you haven’t broken, no sacred thing you haven’t defiled, no way in which you haven’t done every vile and detestable thing that you yourself would hate if you saw it in another. In some ways it would be easier for the cheater if the betrayed in some way deserved or contributed to it, but that’s the worst of it – there is no way anyone deserves this. We do it to the innocent, the unsuspecting, and the good and faithful spouse. It’s a wonder anyone survives.

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            • I know his story kills me. He wrote in such a way to show his emotion for his wife. How he wanted to be there for his wife. How he felt so bad.
              I wanted him to win. I felt for him. Then he disappeared.

              I’ve said this to M before people get cancer, car accidents happen, life is crappy enough than to add more to it yourself. I wish I died in a car accident, I wish so much this wasn’t my life.

              Yes I root for you, I rooted for Erin and her husband, but I feel nothing for M. Rizzo says it’s because I had so much invested and everyone else just sees it like me to you. How I feel compassion for you in every sense and I hope your marriage survives.

              I hope S and Bob survive.
              As for M and I, I truly would rather die than be here. The pain is so intense and I’m not sure how to live because I knew better. I should have protected myself but I loved him Isle so much. And he made me believe in this family and that he loved me.

              It just didn’t happen that way.. and now he wants to change, be the man he never was for me before..

              I don’t believe him Isle. I doubt I ever will. I can be nice, I can please him, I can carry on in this special hell, but I don’t think I could ever love, or trust him again. Not because he had sex.

              But because the lies were unnecessary. He was never I on my team but his words made me believe he was, his actions too. I could have moved on from this years ago.

              With less kids and less years at home to show I’m a credible employee to anyone. Now I must fight hard for income and be resourceful.

              I don’t think I will ever be able to rely on him again. I will always be looking for the knife that anytime can stab me in my back..

              I wish I could find Come Back to Me Erin.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Anonyman says:

              I’m sorry I don’t have much hope to offer you. For so many women, the pain is just too deep. My wife on the other hand has more to offer, if only she had a blog. I honestly don’t know how she has done it, but she is making it. Nine months ago, she felt all those things that you’re feeling now. But things have gotten better. The trust is starting to come back. She doesn’t want to die anymore, which is a big improvement.

              Liked by 1 person

            • That is a huge improvement. I think that is awesome she is making it.
              And no worries I promise I do not comment on your blog to find hope 🙂
              I meant that in the best way possible

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            • Anonyman says:

              I know. It’s just in my nature to try to help. I want to see everyone make it and I don’t want to see anyone else do what I did.

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  2. I’ll answer your questions in an email. I cannot find your email. You can email me and I’ll holler back at you 🙂

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  3. Let go says:

    There is another man who blogs. “Married, and in love with a married woman”. It was the women in my family who cheated but the pain of the bs’ was just as intense.

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    • Anonyman says:

      I don’t doubt it. It was probably different, too. It seems that men just don’t take to the blogosphere to confess their betrayal or talk about being betrayed. If men who cheat are in the minority of bloggers, then men who have been cheated on seem to be a minority within a minority. I’m sure they exist, but I haven’t run across any. Anyway, just idle wondering on my part.

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  4. I had an affair says:

    As far as male cheaters not blogging, given the number of female BS bloggers, and of those the ones that cannot see the person beyond their infidelity, there is a reason they don’t blog. I have many followers that read, offer advice and still see me as human. Too many, however only see the hatred

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