If you haven’t already seen it, Conflicted Love has written a multi-part post about her affair with Max here, here, here, here, and here. I highly recommend you read it. For me personally, I recognized a lot of myself in Max and in CL.
In the final part of the story, she says she never intended to bring God into her blog. She didn’t want to be another hypocritical Christian. (Incidentally, I never intended my blog to become overtly Christian either.) But if you read through all five parts, you’ll see she is repentant. She has remorse. She has regret. She has turned away from the affair and rejected it as sinful.
Is she perfect? No. Does she have every bit of regret that she should have? Probably not. Is she human? Yes. Is she a real Christian, honest about her sin and struggles? Definitely.
She rightly says that what God wants is our heart, first and foremost. Being Christian does not mean being perfect. It doesn’t even mean giving your heart perfectly and always to Him. We stumble. We struggle. We sin. We’re not perfect. And that’s okay because we are under grace. God loves us even when we sin, and he’s there to pick up the pieces when we fall. Sanctification is a process whose destination is on the other side of death.
She is not a hypocrite and neither am I. We acknowledge that we sinned and that it was wrong. We acknowledge our reliance on God’s grace – his strength, his wisdom, his leading – and not our own flawed righteousness. So when we say, “Affairs are wrong. Don’t have one,” we’re acknowledging our own sin and need for forgiveness.
That’s not hypocrisy, that’s a broken and a contrite heart. And as King David, a cheater and murderer himself, said (Psalm 51:16-17):
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.