I was driving around town yesterday, thinking about my blog when a thought entered my head.
What would you, dear reader, do if you found out I was your brother?
I have a sister. My wife and I have held a suspicion, turned to near certainty since the affair, that my brother-in-law has cheated on her. My sister has never hinted at an affair, but I know they’ve had “troubles.” So what if she did know about an affair and blogged about it or at least surfed other blogs, and what if she was one of you who has found this, my blog?
One of the commenters here lives in the same town – a fairly small town, at that – where my sister lives, so this isn’t entirely hypothetical.
I feel pretty confident that I have not left enough clues for anyone to figure out who I am. Certainly nothing beyond a vague suspicion, I would say. So if she read my blog, would she unknowingly hate me, her brother, for being an evil cheater? I know she wouldn’t if I confessed to her today – not that I will. But would it be different if she didn’t know it was me? Would she hate some random stranger for doing what I’ve done?
When she reads how I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for the last year and a half, would she say “You deserve to suffer after what you did to my sister-in-law!” Would she wish for my wife to betray me to punish me for my crimes?
How would she react if the next time the Siren comes calling I decide that life isn’t worth living after what I’ve done? After what I’ve become? What would she say if I blew my brains out and my wife had to call her and tell her that I couldn’t live with what I had done to her? Would she put 2 and 2 together when Anonyman suddenly stopped blogging and responding to comments? I’m not going to do that, but there have been numerous times in the past when that has not been at all certain.
It’s just something for both of us to think about. Am I writing things that I wouldn’t mind my sister reading? If I was writing on my sister’s blog (hypothetically speaking) are my comments helpful or hurtful to her as a BS? I hope they have been helpful, because every day I’m writing comments and posts to someone’s sister. Maybe not my own sister, but every time I write, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter, someone’s mother is getting a comment from some random cheater on the interweb and I hope that comment is sound advice, sympathetic condolences, and edifying insight.